Long distance relationship: one common phrase that I had became so familiar with. There ain't an easy way in relationship and long distance makes it even more complicated. Relationship involved two different people with full of differences. Even when we're together, it does not always run smoothly. And when there are distances involved, it seems to be more problematical. Some takes it easy, some takes it difficult, and some seems indifference.
Technological innovations might make it a lot easier now. By internet and telephone we can communicate with the one we love, listening to their voice, and looking at their faces by means of daily or even hours. Technology does help to facilitate, it support the maintenance of relationship. But you have to put in mind that each party in the relationship is in the different phase of their lives now: surrounding by different conditions, facing different problems, and having different emotional paths. Communications that used to be so easy are now become intricate to do. Physical togetherness that was seemed not important is now become necessary. Daily calls, daily report, and many questions about our daily activities that once were very pleasant are now sometimes annoying.
The biggest fear in long distance relationship is to lose the one we love. We suspect that distance may change everything, includes feeling. Whereas if we look at the other way around, we can lose the one we love even though if there is no distance involved. Relationship could end anyhow if it has to end. So why bother to fuss about the distance lies in between that in the end may create certain behavior that makes our biggest fear are likely to happen?
The fear of losing someone could make us to pull off and keep a distance to anticipate the break up. We hope we would not hurt too much when it does happen. We do not realize that it would likely to push up the relationship into the end. We'd rather choose to break up than being broken up. We'd rather to hurt ourselves than being hurt. We'd rather put some safe-guard to our heart than let it open and see what good it may bring. We choose put some nutshell to protect our own heart without realizing that it would indeed hurt the one we love. Then when the breaks up do happen, we simply put the blame on the long distance rather than blaming ourselves that choose to break hearts.
The fear of losing someone could also make us to pull-on as many strings-attached as possible to the one we love. We want to control their life, we want to be always part of their life, and we want to suck up as many of their time as possible. We feel jealous if the one we love seems to have a good time while we're here thinking about them restlessly. We feel abandoned when they seems busy with their new life while weire here missing them massively. We feel angry when things seem to be repeated continuously. We feel disappointed when things seems not as we expected. We do not realize that we hurt the one we love by treating them this way. We do not realize that instead of pulling them close to us, it would pull off them further. Then the breaks up would likely to happen as well. And here the blame would goes on the long distance in addition to our partner for not having enough time to fulfill our demands rather than blame ourselves for asking too much and choose to break her wings.
Long distance relationship is the most crucial way of testing a relationship. Some may fail, but many others may prevail. For those who fails, there is no need to be ashamed of. You may not meant to be together, and it is so much better to find out earlier rather than later. And for those who prevail, be proud of yourselves because your relationship has proven to be strong enough to pass the hardest test ever exist. There is only a thin line between love, care, obsession, and possessiveness. Long distance relationship is the best way to figure out and define what it is. Trust and understanding is the key.
Just remember, it is no longer love if we don't want to see the one we love to be happy. It is no longer love if we want to see the one we love to suffer. Love is about giving happiness to others especially to the one we love. Love is about trusting the one you love with all your heart and soul no matter what they do. Love is about understanding and accepting them for whatever they are. Love is about be right there whenever you need me, not about be right here whenever I need you. Call me a dreamer, call me an utopian, but aren't we all?
* Posted by 3k4 @ 7:09 AM *
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